Bitter Fate of my Reality

Bitter Fate of my Reality

In the perpetual darkness that is my life,
Long have I longed to find the one that would be my wife,
But as fate has cruelly thought me,
Love and companionship will never be.

The more I reflect on it, I break down and cry,
Why cursed must I be, this is what life has thought me,
Thirty one years of pain and loss, and no God smiles on me,
That is my reflection of reality.

Twice to let myself fall in love for an angel in my life,
Twice to have my heart dashed against the torment of the sea,
So I close it again, close my wings, never to fly again,
To the bitter fate of my reality.

The Change

The Change

I live in a darkness filled world,
A darkness filled with cold,
Of things that fright and scare,
Simple minded people everywhere.

And in this night of tainted delight,
I am called by a random message light,
Someone that, unknowing by me,
Would change, something in thee.

I answered the call, after all,
It could be what I seek,
A maiden, that I could share,
And end, the lonely existence here.

What I found, filled me with confusion,
It shattered, my dim lit illusion,
Nothing would ever be the same,
Attracted am I to the flame.

I will not lie to you, no I will not,
Of love, passion, I did seek to plot,
Selfish, was my aims and desires,
Unaware of the depth of the fires.

But the fates took me by hand,
And brought me to a strange new land,
Where all, I knew before was gone,
Then they showed me, your hand.

I’ve never felt these feeling before,
Of the tears and waves on the shore,
And thou, there be rocks in that sea,
The tides of that ocean still moved me.

I so I stretched my old unused wings,
And try to pull the rocks from the sea,
And seek the shelter of a shore,
An exit, or at least a door.

Now, water slowly dries from the rocks,
And the storm, slowly subsides,
Except for the feeling inside,
Old bones are mended.

And thus, if it be for only friendship sake,
Of uncertain futures, and possibility protected,
I offer this, on this day,
If only to cheer you, up this day.

To April

To April

My dear, I cannot tell,
How painful was your tale,
I wished to ease you pain,
To lift you up again.

The sorrow of what you expressed,
Moved be more than you’ll know,
And though we live miles apart,
A friend I be in your heart.

And thou you are strong, and going on,
Should you need a shoulder, to cry on,
Look to me, for I want to be there,
And free you from your despair.

Remember, I do really care.

My Beloved

My Beloved

In the darkness of the forest glen
In the nocturnal night, I spend
I look to my angel of snow
For my heart tells me so

My heart I open to her
I will never stray from her
My blood and soul I give her
This and every day

Her beauty is more than words can say
Her light shows me the way
I follow her into the night
Given guidance by her blessed light

And in her arms I will stay
Till my last breath is taken away
And I rest the arms of my angel
Never to go away

And then I will walk beside her
Unseen, while I await her
Till the day we are reunited
And then to eternity we spend

Blessed is the love given me
Blessed is the love I give thee
In my soul I commit myself to thee
I love thee eternally

Angel of Mine

Angel of Mine

Alone I sit in the dark night,
waiting for my angel’s light.
Waiting for her warm glow,
for her sweet caress I do.

Softly she calls to me,
in the darkness of night.
Across the distance,
to give me her light.

I open my heart to her,
and give her all of my life.
She warms it with her smile,
and love fills my world.

She stays for a sweet moment,
and again flies away in the night.
To return to warm my life,
another dark twilight.

Into the Void

Into the Void

In the darkness of this our world,
Of punishment of the innocent,
Of the moral infancy, a fantasy
that they call shame,
I see the horror, and man is to blame.

Love, truth and reality are all
subject to society, whose dictation
is but flawed. Blindly leading
the mice of Adam, into the darkness,
the black waters of Lucifer.

Resistance, I uphold, I regret nothing.
But I weep for persistence of man,
life lost to bitter moral injustice.
Watchmen, big brother, there must be.
Only can man create such misery.

Death, an escape, maybe for some.
But, not for me, I will persist.
I will not compromise my soul.
I will not compromise my existence.
As frail as this moral coil can be,
I will not sacrifice my integrity.

And so, I set sail and go…
Into the darkness, into the void,
I go willingly. I go on the journey
of eternity. A voyage to last all

Haunted Heart

Haunted Heart

Am I still haunted by the past?
Will this century, free me at last?
I know not, what will come,
Yet, I hope that it will be done.
The chains that clasp my heart,
I hope this time will come apart.

Yes, I am haunted my a memory,
That entwines it web over me,
A spider indeed by name,
Someone that should have been my flame.
The daylight for my night,
That shielded my from light.

Now, the years have gone by,
And now loneliness will die.
I will tear apart the tread rills,
That have held me still.
Awaken that long slept fire,
And relight that dying ember.

I call to my heart to take flight,
Find someone – a new angel of light,
Shed away the desperate years,
Wipe away the long burning tears,
Guide me to that which I seek,
And end my loneliness forever.



The sun is shinning outside,
My windows are closed,
Dark drapes cover the portal,
As I hide inside.

Is it mere physical light,
From which I hide?
Or something more sadder,
Deep inside.

Purple and deep dark blue,
Fills the screen I view,
I type away all day,
As life goes on its way.

Why do I do this?
I do not know,
There is no love here,
Nothing to show.

No friends come by,
No love finds me,
As I live deep inside,
The walls I show.

I want to break out,
I want to go,
But I do not know,
What to do.

I live for the night,
In the absence of light,
For the beep of ICQ,
And the friends I chat to.

No one, touches me,
And I cry inside,
I cannot let anyone know,
How I hurt to even try.

Ihs, are you there?
Ihs, do you care?
Ihs, I call to you.
Ihs, are you dead too?