I know now just what Alice Cooper song Poison is… I feel it every day. How do you be friends with someone you want in the deepest part of your core? I do not know, I am like a moth attracted to a flame. As I get close I will be consumed by the fire, yet I cannot help but fly towards it. It is hard to be best friends to someone that you want, knowing that they never will want you.
Mostly I am ok. I handle it very well. I am very much strong and it does not affect me. The problem arises when I speak to her… At first I thought I just walk away, it would be the best thing, I would heal. But she is the best thing that ever walked into my life, a friend I could never turn my back towards.
Your cruel device, Your blood, like ice, One look could kill, My pain, your thrill, I want to love you but I better not Touch (don’t touch), I want to hold you but my senses Tell me to stop, I want to kiss you but I want it too Much (too much), I want to taste you but your lips Are venomous poison, You’re poison running through my Veins, You’re poison, I don’t want to Break these chains.
This is how I feel towards her. I can’t even put this into a poem. It not passion, I am not sexually caught by her. My heart is what breaks my soul.
I’ve promised to be her friend for all time, and this is my bond. I am not crying over it. I am not heartbroken. It just hurts to love someone that never will be yours. I could never hate her, even if it kills me. I want her to be happy and I stay around forever as long as she wants to be my friend. No, this does not mean I am not looking for someone to fill my life. I probably need someone more than ever. But since, that seems unlikely to happen anytime soon. I will just have to endure.
The lonely knight.
D