Declaration of my search for my Ideal Mate
There comes an age when you become self actualized what you really want in life. What you are willing to sacrifice and what you are not willing to sacrifice to get what you want in life via romance.
One of the main things about me is that I am compelled to follow my ideals, which includes what I look for in a woman. They are admittedly high ideals that few women would ever be worthy to fill, even fewer who would be willing to fall in love with me. But the truth is I have no desire to give into my ideals. Even if it means I never meet the right person in my life.
There is only one person that meets my ideals right now. My best friend Sherry. But that would never work out. I know this, as much as I know she never look at me the same way I look at her. She the closest to my ideal of the perfect mate. Everything I look for, a heart that sees not with her eyes, a mind that thinks much like I do. A spirit that is warm at times even though she might be feeling cold. Of course there is her beauty as well. No, she not the Hollywood type, but she is beautiful. All the characteristics both internal and external that I would ever want in a woman.
Coming to learn of myself I realized that I want no other woman but a woman like her. I am not willing to sacrifice that ideal, even if it means I never marry or love another woman in my life. I can imaging what she say if she saw I said this… that I should not be so strict and selective on what I am looking for… But, I must follow my heart on this, because I do not need a woman for sex. I need my ideal companion. Someone that excites me on all levels, my soul, my mind and my body. Otherwise, I much prefer to remain alone for the rest of my life. I need nothing else in a woman.
I have allowed myself to comprises what I could get in the past, all of which were doomed to failure. I do not desire to comprises those ideals again. Either I find her or I don’t, or she finds me. They say there is a perfect person for everyone out there. I do not believe that is totally true, but I do know some might come very close to my dream, my ideal. I can only hope that she looks for someone like me too. Otherwise, love is just not worth perusing. Why settle for second best? The fact is second best I would never be able to honor her. She could never by my princess or my queen.
I know now what it is I want in a woman. What is it that I am looking for, what she might even look like in a general sense. Yes, this probably narrows the population of women down to 0.01% of all the women in the world. But so what…. this is what I want, and I am not willing to give into getting anything less than my ideal.
Sherry would have been my perfect mate, but I know that would never be. But at least she has shown me what I want and now that I know who I am, and my compulsive idealistic characteristics and my unwillingness to give up on those ideals and not willing to settle for anything less. I know that and accept that my road to finding my ideal mate will be a long one, one that probably I never find. But I am not unhappy if I do not find anyone. I am only unhappy because the right ones have never found me.