Fate and fears

Last night, again I was called upon to wear the mask of Savior, this time I do not know what happened and my best attempts seemed to be in vain. A girl 17 messaged me, named Layla from Roschester NY, a lesbian, who seemed to be interested in making friends. That was two days ago, and yes she was depressed. I tried my best with her, didnt see much improvement, laughed and joked with her and she laughed too. Last night she told me she was going to kill herself. I tried my best to get her to talk to me. Tried to tell her that she can’t do that just as we were beginning our friendship. But online, you cannot force someone to stay and talk to you. She didnt want to say why she wanted to kill herself. I could not get her to open up. She went offline, leaving me with the notion that I might never see her online again. I have since not heared from her. I wrote her a letter last night trying agian (hoping she read it) to tell her that she can talk to me.

I do not know if she has or has not killed herself. I not seen her, and can only assume the worse. Again I was called reluctantly to be some sort of savior, something I wish would not fall in my lap. Yet, always seems to.

I can only hope that she didn’t go through with it. But I feel I gained another ghost upon my shoulders. And again I question why it seems that the lost seek me, and I am called upon to be savior, when a god I am not.

UPDATE: She is still alive, but refuses to talk about it. There is nothing I can do, if she remains closed to me.

– D