I hate being introverted and shy, and hate at the same time being an idealist, a dreamer, and someone who wants what seems unattainable dreams.
For those that do not know, I am communicative but only on the surface level, when it comes to more deep personal issues; I share none with no one. But this rears its ugly head, when it comes to romantic intentions. I can’t get the “frog” out of my throat when I have an interest in someone.
This is compounded with my idealism and dreams, my wants that are not realistic for what is available within my sphere of reality. I do not want to settle, but at the same time, I am burdened by my internal needs for companionship (and yes my carnal desires too); to settle or not to settle.
How do one balances the internal demands, and give up on that which one cannot achieve; when in the depths of your heart, you desperately do not wish to give up.
The cry of Real Life’s Send me an angel; echoes within my soul, on a turntable repeating the same track over and over. Longing to touch that angel and be touched. To close my eyes and be content with one of the most important empty places in my psyche being fulfilled with light that would chase the shadows of despair away.
I may be too much of a romantic dreamer. Chasing a dream, that is out of my reach.